I FLUNKED GRASS CUTTING!

Our property is large with a fairly steep sloping lawn with lots of ruts/half buried rocks/ditches/and a very sharp drop off near the tree line where a mountain creek runs through our land.

Now for years and years when we lived in IL, I did all our yard work...... (before the 'perfect child' was old enough to stick him with the job.) Because of the size, we used a lawn tractor.....and this is important....one that had a steering wheel....so it was really not much different than driving a car.

With 'the husband' still under 'house arrest' until at least next week when he sees the doctor, I DECIDED.....it would be a good idea for me to cut the grass....it needed it. Hey, how hard can that be??

Our tractor resides in the log cabin shed......so all I 'thought' I had to do was pull it out and away I'd go. Really, how hard could this be??

But first....yup, 'the husband' has way tooooo much time on his hands now....he's truly going crazy with all this inactivity. Being the engineer type mind set....he drew a diagram of the pathways I should travel to minimize turning around etc. My eyes were rolling as he went over every minor point. Honestly, how hard could this be?

Each of the known half buried rocks were pointed out so I could avoid them.....my mouth was now flapping....ya right......I can SEE rocks......let me just get going....I have sewing I want to get to later today!! Seriously, how hard can this be??

But, NO....still more instructions followed. He got our walkie talkies out so that I could call him if I stalled the mower......for safety reasons it has a complicated set of steps to start/run....I probably would need his input when I stalled it. Now my eyes are crossing..... wondering, how hard could this be???

So...finally we decided to allow him a short walk to our shed so he could oversee as I pulled the tractor out. Oh, and by the way.....there might be dead mice in the traps (yes 2) and be sure to make a lot of noise to scare snakes away....as it gets colder at night.....they might decide curl up under the mower. But, I'm still thinking.....how hard can this be?

Yikes.....I KNEW this thing didn't have a steering wheel.....and knew our neighbor's (wife) refused a pending purchase by her husband of this type since SHE was the one who cuts their grass......but I wasn't alarmed by any of this....I COULD do it!! How hard could it be??

It was a nightmare.....literally! To steer you use these arm like things.....pulling them together and forward to go straight, pull right arm out to turn right, back together and back...only to a certain point to stop....but if pulled too far back the darn thing back ups. Before I knew it, I was half way down our property, traveling nearly a 1/2 acre in seconds and heading toward the creek. Every time I tried to turn or back up, I found myself half stuck on a huge rut, afraid the darn thing would tip over. I was paralyzed with fear....really, my heart was pounding....each movement brought me closer to the drop off for the creek.....I was shrieking. I'm NOT a quitter, but I finally did what any sensible person might do.....shut the darn thing off and decided this job was for a professional!!

I spent a nice afternoon sewing......how hard can that be??